Bagel Fic 1D Version
by Harry.Is.My.LoverxD
Summary: This was Originally a Panic Fan By Druscilla Way on Live Journal . all credit goes to her .


Harry was lonely and horny and the bagel looked oddly inviting, sitting there on the counter, almost winking at him with it's singular eye. Or not so much an eye, perhaps, as a hole. A hole …

Harry shook his head. No. That's sick. He tried to shake the idea from his head, going to the cupboard instead and pulling out a box of cereal. But when he returned to the counter with the bowl of cereal and the gallon of milk, the bagel was still there, still winking at him.

"This is all Louis's fault." Harry muttered, glaring at the food item as if it could here. "Stupid fuck and his sexual T break. Like sex is anything like pot. And like it's doing any good with all the jerking off he's doing."

None of this, of course, made any sense when coupled with the fact that Harry wasn't a top and that a bagel didn't have anything that could be construed as phallic. But Harry wasn't thinking logically. He was thinking with his dick.

It probably wouldn't feel all that great, he tried to convince himself as he poured milk on his Cheerios. I mean, God knows how long the bagel had been sitting there since Louis had forgotten about it and left, so it was probably hard as hell. And hard bagels and hard cocks are nothing alike. Then there was the fact that there was nothing but a hole. Nothing past the hole but air. He might as well just jerk off. Then there were the crumbs. He'd get crumbs all over and if he didn't get a chance to shower, Louis would probably find crumbs in his pubes and there was no way in hell he was explaining that.

Harry left the bagel and went out to the living room, turning on the television and eating his cereal. But when he went to put his bowl in the sink, he was still hard and the bagel was still sitting there. And when Harry turned away, deliberately ignoring it, he caught a glimpse of the bag of bagels sitting in the cupboard. Bagels that hadn't been sitting on the counter since Louis left.

"Fuck."

Harry tried to shake his head, but it didn't matter. The idea was not going to leave. Just like the thought of stealing Josh's drumsticks to get off hadn't left until he'd done it. Just like the idea of going to the store in a butt plug and buying a bunch of phallic vegetables with Louis to try and freak out the really cute, gay guy at the grocery store wouldn't go away until it had happened.

Harry felt he should draw the line at fucking food, but clearly today was not going to be the day to draw that line.

He put the dog outside and closed the blinds because he was going to do it in the kitchen. He always yelled at Louis for bringing food in the bedroom and he wasn't going to break his own rule. At least, he wasn't going to break his own food to fuck a bagel.

Harry wasn't quite sure how to go about with such a thing though. Did he sit on the counter? Lay it down and attempt to hump the floor? No, that wouldn't work. Because after the hole would be the floor and Louis had made him hump the floor once. He'd come, but more from Louis's fingers than the linoleum. So that wasn't going to work. And was he supposed to take all his clothes off? That just seemed ridiculous. The bagel didn't care what he looked like naked.

He went to check the front door, made sure it was locked and checked through the blinds to make sure Bogart was in the yard because explaining how the dog managed to run away (while he was fucking a bagel) was not going to happen. Then Harry shucked his pajama pants and spit on his hand, his fingers running down his cock once, twice, and then he had one arm on the counter, slowly pressing into the circle of blueberry bread.

It didn't exactly feel . . . good. But it felt better than anything he'd had all week and Louis was a greedy bastard, never letting Harry fuck that perfect ass, so it was more than he'd had since he started dating the boy. More than he'd had in years because nobody wanted to let Harry top. There'd been Ed sheeran , but only because Harry thought way too much of himself to let a fucking kid top him.

So we can't really blame Harry for moaning and increasing his speed, lifting his hand off the counter and sliding two fingers in his mouth before hurriedly pressing them inside of himself. He knew fully well how pathetic it was, but a week without sex was enough to make him not care. Period. He was fucking a bagel. And the bagel would never tell a soul.

Harry was entirely too close for really only having been going at it for a few minutes. Damn Brendon and his stupidity. He forced a third finger in and increased his speed on the bagel. God dammit. So fucking close. But there was no way he was going to say "oh, bagel" when he came. Fuck that.

"Ohhh." Harry slumped forward against the counter, his hand closing around his cock as he pumped it a handful of times, the back of his hand hitting the bagel as he did so. He came, hard, not caring that his come had just shot all over the door of the cabinet underneath the counter. He could feel himself clenching on his fingers as he bit the inside of his cheek, refusing to make anymore noises so he wouldn't have to acknowledge what had lead to this.

Afterward, just to be spiteful, he put the bagel on a plate on the counter and threw Louis 's old one away. His boyfriend had a habit of taking at least one bite out of food before deciding not to eat it. And serve him right.

Harry cleaned up and let Bogart back in. Then he unlocked the front door and went to take a shower. When he got out, towel drying his hair, Louis was sitting on the couch. He looked up and smiled. "I threw your bagel away. I took a bite, but I guess our cream cheese is bad or something."

Harry excused himself so his snickering wouldn't give him away.


End file.
